When my son Elliot died, my response was, understandably, railing against the evil of his being taken from me. I couldn’t see any grace in it, and I will still bristle if an off-handed comment, especially from a religious onlooker, tries to bring “good” from the daily aching pain of being separated from my child.… Continue reading The Good “And”
Author: Heidi Treibel
I choose to share the raw reality of the sorrow of loss through the filter of hope in Jesus Christ.
I am a writer, an educator, a mom, a wife, and a coffee fiend. My two daughters and my son on earth teach me daily what grace is (for them and for myself). My children in heaven open my eyes to see the unseen. I write candidly about the wrestling that results from spiritual trauma. My hope is that those who've endured spiritual trauma and other painful life circumstances can meet a Jesus who is better than my meager words could describe. I believe that wrestling with God is necessary and healthy as my belief system is redefined and my relationship with Him is refined.
If you are reading, it is my hope that you will be moved to listen to others with deep compassion and share your own stories of life, love, and loss with deep conviction. We are all pilgrims in a broken world; I hope we walk together as we journey to the land "where no storms come."
Redeeming Time
In Ephesians 5, Paul exhorts his readers to redeem the time, because the days are evil. Many other translations call it “making the most of every opportunity.” But I like redeeming the time. That phrase from Scripture has always struck me as poetic. Webster defines the word redeem as to free from what distresses or… Continue reading Redeeming Time
My Son Can Hear You
“How old is he?” “Four.” “He’s SO TINY!” My son looks up at me, those big brown eyes questioning. My face grows hot, but I smile and continue checking him in for children’s church. I don’t say anything. She did not mean to offend. I know this. She does not know the conversations and struggles… Continue reading My Son Can Hear You
My Sons
Which part of your child’s face is your favorite to study? You know what I mean. When he’s still (for two seconds), when she’s sleeping, when laughter alights their faces? I love Valerie’s freckles, sprinkled across her nose like stardust. I adore Sylvia’s sweet little cheeks; there’s something of the baby I carried still there.… Continue reading My Sons
A Person of Influence
Who is the person who has most influenced your life? When you trace back the ribbon of the days you've lived, who has made significant impact in the direction of that ribbon? A mentor? A teacher? A friend? I am blessed to say many people have shaped who I am, and for all of them… Continue reading A Person of Influence
Barbies and Football (Where Love Lives)
I see her bright blonde hair and brighter smile as she barrels toward me. “You’re a bad guy and I’m a good guy!” she declares while launching a giant orange bouncy ball at my torso. I flop on the trampoline in a deft maneuver, avoiding her attack. Valerie already landed two hits—one more and I’m… Continue reading Barbies and Football (Where Love Lives)
A Goodbye Letter to my Thirties
Dear Thirties, As of today, you are a past-tense timeframe. This is my farewell to you, still-young-but-not-too-young decade of life. I think it’s interesting how we boil people down into their decade. A flippant, “He’s in his early twenties,” may explain away juvenile behavior, while an awestruck, “She’s in her nineties,” produces wonder and respect.… Continue reading A Goodbye Letter to my Thirties
Of Plans and Pandemics
I sit here admiring the frosted trees, the still beauty whispering something majestic and true. A September snow blew through to hopefully temper wildfires and delight Coloradans with the dramatic weather shift. It’s funny how we live our lives with an awareness that things rarely go as planned, and yet we’re still surprised when an… Continue reading Of Plans and Pandemics
Love From a Distance
I recently threw a baby shower. A unicorn baby shower. An imaginary unicorn baby shower. The lucky unicorn had quadruplets, wouldn’t you know? Streamers hung from the ceiling of my normally tidy formal living room. Purple balloons rested on every sofa cushion. Homemade signs with sweetly misspelled words adorned my dining room walls. Parenting… Continue reading Love From a Distance
Sentenced to Life
Today is the Spring (or Vernal) Equinox, a day when there is exactly as much light to the day as there is dark. On the Vernal Equinox of 2017, I went in for the 20-week anatomy ultrasound of my growing baby boy, Elliot. We’d endured four months of uncertainty in my awful pregnancy, and finally… Continue reading Sentenced to Life
Raw and Filtered 