life and loss through the lens of love
In Ephesians 5, Paul exhorts his readers to redeem the time, because the days are evil. Many other translations call it “making the most of every opportunity.” But I like redeeming the time. That phrase from Scripture has always struck me as poetic. Webster defines the word redeem as to free from what distresses or… Continue reading Redeeming Time
Which part of your child’s face is your favorite to study? You know what I mean. When he’s still (for two seconds), when she’s sleeping, when laughter alights their faces? I love Valerie’s freckles, sprinkled across her nose like stardust. I adore Sylvia’s sweet little cheeks; there’s something of the baby I carried still there.… Continue reading My Sons
Dear Thirties, As of today, you are a past-tense timeframe. This is my farewell to you, still-young-but-not-too-young decade of life. I think it’s interesting how we boil people down into their decade. A flippant, “He’s in his early twenties,” may explain away juvenile behavior, while an awestruck, “She’s in her nineties,” produces wonder and respect.… Continue reading A Goodbye Letter to my Thirties
Today is the Spring (or Vernal) Equinox, a day when there is exactly as much light to the day as there is dark. On the Vernal Equinox of 2017, I went in for the 20-week anatomy ultrasound of my growing baby boy, Elliot. We’d endured four months of uncertainty in my awful pregnancy, and finally… Continue reading Sentenced to Life
We just returned from a brief trip to Juárez, México to visit our dear friends, Maria and Gilbert, who run an elementary school and junior high school. Besides just caring about seeing our friends, Dustin and I also wanted to visit since we are on the school board and are deeply invested in what happens… Continue reading The Way Things Grow
Last night we had the pleasure of hosting our small group from church. One of my friends in the group is pregnant with her second sweet baby, and someone asked her how far along she is. “30 weeks,” she replied. My mind began reeling a bit. 30 weeks. I delivered Elliot when I was… Continue reading The Womb of the World
When I tell people our family is the process of adopting from Colombia, the questions I most often receive are: “Why adoption?” and “Why from Colombia?” So for any interested parties whose minds may be burning with those same inquiries, here goes. Adoption. Well, I have always been deeply troubled by the thought of… Continue reading Why Adoption? Why Colombia?
My husband and I just returned from an unforgettable trip to Ireland in celebration of our 10th wedding anniversary. Trips like this are a memory overload, and soon after leaving the days of touring behind, all the landscapes and castles and fascinating history facts blend together. I'll take time to make memory book on Shutterfly… Continue reading A Boy Without His Mother
August is one of those months that just won't let go. The anniversary of miscarrying Everett on August 8. Elliot's due date on August 9. Avery's due date on August 21. And then there's back to school. Beautiful, funny, exciting back to school. As a homeschool mom, I try to create rituals that make the… Continue reading Guest Blog: Only Two Backpacks
My Elliot is not a means to an end. A few months after Elliot died, a friend took me to lunch and asked me a provocative question. “Do you think it will ever be worth it?” I wasn’t offended. I knew what she meant. I would’ve wondered something similar prior to Elliot’s death… Continue reading Not a Means To An End
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