Last night we had the pleasure of hosting our small group from church. One of my friends in the group is pregnant with her second sweet baby, and someone asked her how far along she is. “30 weeks,” she replied. My mind began reeling a bit. 30 weeks. I delivered Elliot when I was… Continue reading The Womb of the World
Tag: NICU
Three Aspects of Infant Loss We Don’t Talk About (But Should)
Here I am again, approaching spring and all its painful triggers. Two years ago I was pregnant with my little Elliot. I was brimming to my eyeballs in hope and relief as I fully believed I was past the worst of my pregnancy and, at 18 weeks, in the “safe zone.” How could I ever… Continue reading Three Aspects of Infant Loss We Don’t Talk About (But Should)
The “God Is Good” Dilemma
God is good. Chris Tomlin says it: “You’re a good, good father...:” My childhood church camp said it: “God is soooo good, God is soooo good, God is soooo good, he’s so gooood….toooo….me….” (four-part harmony) The Bible says it: “For the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and… Continue reading The “God Is Good” Dilemma
One Sacred Night
Written by my mother, Gelene Springston One Sacred Night Reflections by a Grateful Grammy “They’re losing Elliot,” my husband said sadly. Our son, Ryan, had just called with the awful news. Minutes later a call came from a tearful nurse, “Come as quickly as you can!” We were 50 minutes from St. Joseph… Continue reading One Sacred Night
Two Versions of Me
One of my favorite features of Denver International Airport is the long, long moving walkway. I like how it helps travelers traverse the great distance across terminals at exponential speed. It’s gratifying to step on an already-moving conveyor belt, and become strangely quick with minimal effort. Passing by all the regular pedestrians on the stationary… Continue reading Two Versions of Me
Why Spring Makes Me Dizzy
I’ve heard grief described as: “being stuck in a moment in time.” I think that’s a somewhat accurate picture, if a bit simplistic. I would add that it's more like your heart is ripped from your chest and scattered over many, many past moments in time, staked there whether you like it or not, and… Continue reading Why Spring Makes Me Dizzy
A Letter to My Son in Celebration of His Life
This note to Elliot is dedicated in his memory to ALL the babies who closed their eyes on mortality much too soon. I hope we who claim to be “pro-life”, who believe that a new soul is created when new DNA is created, remember and celebrate these short lives in the ways we can. There… Continue reading A Letter to My Son in Celebration of His Life
I Am Job’s Wife
November 2, 2017 I wrote these words almost three months ago, not sure if I would ever share them. Honestly, I was self-conscious, afraid of what others would think. Younger Christians who I've mentored. Older Christians who've mentored me. NonChristians. Family. Peers. Would they judge me for all these doubts and questions? Would they see… Continue reading I Am Job’s Wife
Elliot’s Birth Story
June 29, 2017 Happy One-Month Birthday, Elliot! I started writing Elliot’s birth story the morning of the day he died. Of course, I had no way of knowing what that day would bring. As far as I knew, it was just going to be another day with my little buddy, one of many.… Continue reading Elliot’s Birth Story
Five Days
6/4/17 And I’m home again exactly eight weeks from the day I left to go to the hospital. I thought the day I returned home would be one of relief, joy, and reunion. Instead it is a day of a crushed spirit, mourning, and separation. I thought I would look back on my time in… Continue reading Five Days
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