My Elliot is not a means to an end. A few months after Elliot died, a friend took me to lunch and asked me a provocative question. “Do you think it will ever be worth it?” I wasn’t offended. I knew what she meant. I would’ve wondered something similar prior to Elliot’s death… Continue reading Not a Means To An End
Tag: bedrest
Three Aspects of Infant Loss We Don’t Talk About (But Should)
Here I am again, approaching spring and all its painful triggers. Two years ago I was pregnant with my little Elliot. I was brimming to my eyeballs in hope and relief as I fully believed I was past the worst of my pregnancy and, at 18 weeks, in the “safe zone.” How could I ever… Continue reading Three Aspects of Infant Loss We Don’t Talk About (But Should)
One Sacred Night
Written by my mother, Gelene Springston One Sacred Night Reflections by a Grateful Grammy “They’re losing Elliot,” my husband said sadly. Our son, Ryan, had just called with the awful news. Minutes later a call came from a tearful nurse, “Come as quickly as you can!” We were 50 minutes from St. Joseph… Continue reading One Sacred Night
Two Versions of Me
One of my favorite features of Denver International Airport is the long, long moving walkway. I like how it helps travelers traverse the great distance across terminals at exponential speed. It’s gratifying to step on an already-moving conveyor belt, and become strangely quick with minimal effort. Passing by all the regular pedestrians on the stationary… Continue reading Two Versions of Me
Why Spring Makes Me Dizzy
I’ve heard grief described as: “being stuck in a moment in time.” I think that’s a somewhat accurate picture, if a bit simplistic. I would add that it's more like your heart is ripped from your chest and scattered over many, many past moments in time, staked there whether you like it or not, and… Continue reading Why Spring Makes Me Dizzy
A Letter to My Son in Celebration of His Life
This note to Elliot is dedicated in his memory to ALL the babies who closed their eyes on mortality much too soon. I hope we who claim to be “pro-life”, who believe that a new soul is created when new DNA is created, remember and celebrate these short lives in the ways we can. There… Continue reading A Letter to My Son in Celebration of His Life
Five Days
6/4/17 And I’m home again exactly eight weeks from the day I left to go to the hospital. I thought the day I returned home would be one of relief, joy, and reunion. Instead it is a day of a crushed spirit, mourning, and separation. I thought I would look back on my time in… Continue reading Five Days
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