August is one of those months that just won't let go. The anniversary of miscarrying Everett on August 8. Elliot's due date on August 9. Avery's due date on August 21. And then there's back to school. Beautiful, funny, exciting back to school. As a homeschool mom, I try to create rituals that make the… Continue reading Guest Blog: Only Two Backpacks
Tag: Miscarriage
Three Aspects of Infant Loss We Don’t Talk About (But Should)
Here I am again, approaching spring and all its painful triggers. Two years ago I was pregnant with my little Elliot. I was brimming to my eyeballs in hope and relief as I fully believed I was past the worst of my pregnancy and, at 18 weeks, in the “safe zone.” How could I ever… Continue reading Three Aspects of Infant Loss We Don’t Talk About (But Should)
UN-Comfortably Numb
I’m tired. I’m so tired of missing him. I’m tired of time passing and his brief life becoming more of a distant memory. I’m tired of triggers taking me back there when I’m not expecting it. I’m tired of thinking in years...Avery would be two and a half YEARS old. Everett would be almost two… Continue reading UN-Comfortably Numb
Heaven’s Middle Child
My littlest baby, My Everett. I marvel at your name and the conviction I have that you are a boy. I know some mommies of miscarried babies don’t name their little ones because of the uncertainty of the gender. That’s okay. You all have names and identities that one day we’ll know… Continue reading Heaven’s Middle Child
A Mother’s Day Letter to My Sisters In Loss
Dear Sisters In Loss, You, mothers of babies in Heaven, mommies whose babies left too soon due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death, are precious to me. Your children are precious to me. I wish I could have known them all. This Mother’s Day may not be what you hoped for or expected.… Continue reading A Mother’s Day Letter to My Sisters In Loss
The Face of Miscarriage
Dearest Avery Rose, It’s been two years since you went to heaven, my little one. January 19, 2016 changed everything. It was the beginning of a whole world of challenges I just didn’t expect, plan for, or ever want. I’ve missed you! I talk about Elliot a lot these days, because his life and… Continue reading The Face of Miscarriage
Due
August 21, 2016. April 6, 2017. August 9, 2017. Just dates on the calendar to most people. But those dates are so much more to me. They are the due dates of my babies in heaven. For those of you who’ve not experienced pregnancy, this is how the first moments work (more or… Continue reading Due
Their Parting Gift
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power… Continue reading Their Parting Gift
Avery’s Birth Story
One of the challenges I faced after losing a baby to miscarriage was the disappointment of not being able to write her a birth story. I'd written one for each of my two other babies, but for months I ached with the knowledge that Avery wasn't "born." However, God gave me insight into a beautiful… Continue reading Avery’s Birth Story