When my son Elliot died, my response was, understandably, railing against the evil of his being taken from me. I couldn’t see any grace in it, and I will still bristle if an off-handed comment, especially from a religious onlooker, tries to bring “good” from the daily aching pain of being separated from my child.… Continue reading The Good “And”
My Son Can Hear You
“How old is he?” “Four.” “He’s SO TINY!” My son looks up at me, those big brown eyes questioning. My face grows hot, but I smile and continue checking him in for children’s church. I don’t say anything. She did not mean to offend. I know this. She does not know the conversations and struggles… Continue reading My Son Can Hear You
Which part of your child’s face is your favorite to study? You know what I mean. When he’s still (for two seconds), when she’s sleeping, when laughter alights their faces? I love Valerie’s freckles, sprinkled across her nose like stardust. I adore Sylvia’s sweet little cheeks; there’s something of the baby I carried still there.… Continue reading My Sons
A Goodbye Letter to my Thirties
Dear Thirties, As of today, you are a past-tense timeframe. This is my farewell to you, still-young-but-not-too-young decade of life. I think it’s interesting how we boil people down into their decade. A flippant, “He’s in his early twenties,” may explain away juvenile behavior, while an awestruck, “She’s in her nineties,” produces wonder and respect.… Continue reading A Goodbye Letter to my Thirties
Love From a Distance
I recently threw a baby shower. A unicorn baby shower. An imaginary unicorn baby shower. The lucky unicorn had quadruplets, wouldn’t you know? Streamers hung from the ceiling of my normally tidy formal living room. Purple balloons rested on every sofa cushion. Homemade signs with sweetly misspelled words adorned my dining room walls. Parenting… Continue reading Love From a Distance
The Womb of the World
Last night we had the pleasure of hosting our small group from church. One of my friends in the group is pregnant with her second sweet baby, and someone asked her how far along she is. “30 weeks,” she replied. My mind began reeling a bit. 30 weeks. I delivered Elliot when I was… Continue reading The Womb of the World
Why Adoption? Why Colombia?
When I tell people our family is the process of adopting from Colombia, the questions I most often receive are: “Why adoption?” and “Why from Colombia?” So for any interested parties whose minds may be burning with those same inquiries, here goes. Adoption. Well, I have always been deeply troubled by the thought of… Continue reading Why Adoption? Why Colombia?