adoption, faith, grief, healing, Infant loss, love in loss, Trauma, Uncategorized

The Good “And”

When my son Elliot died, my response was, understandably, railing against the evil of his being taken from me. I couldn’t see any grace in it, and I will still bristle if an off-handed comment, especially from a religious onlooker, tries to bring “good” from the daily aching pain of being separated from my child.… Continue reading The Good “And”

faith, grief, healing, love in loss, Uncategorized

Redeeming Time

In Ephesians 5, Paul exhorts his readers to redeem the time, because the days are evil. Many other translations call it “making the most of every opportunity.” But I like redeeming the time. That phrase from Scripture has always struck me as poetic. Webster defines the word redeem as to free from what distresses or… Continue reading Redeeming Time

adoption, foster care, grief, Infant loss, love in loss

Love From a Distance

I recently threw a baby shower. A unicorn baby shower. An imaginary unicorn baby shower. The lucky unicorn had quadruplets, wouldn’t you know? Streamers hung from the ceiling of my normally tidy formal living room. Purple balloons rested on every sofa cushion. Homemade signs with sweetly misspelled words adorned my dining room walls.   Parenting… Continue reading Love From a Distance

faith, grief, Infant loss, love in loss

Sentenced to Life

Today is the Spring (or Vernal) Equinox, a day when there is exactly as much light to the day as there is dark. On the Vernal Equinox of 2017, I went in for the 20-week anatomy ultrasound of my growing baby boy, Elliot. We’d endured four months of uncertainty in my awful pregnancy, and finally… Continue reading Sentenced to Life

faith, grief, Juarez, love in loss

The Way Things Grow

We just returned from a brief trip to Juárez, México to visit our dear friends, Maria and Gilbert, who run an elementary school and junior high school. Besides just caring about seeing our friends, Dustin and I also wanted to visit since we are on the school board and are deeply invested in what happens… Continue reading The Way Things Grow

faith, grief, Infant loss, love in loss, Uncategorized

Buried Under a Christmas Star

My girls and I spent several hours this weekend working on Christmas cookies to give to our new cul-de-sac neighbors. I confess it was fun the first hour or two; and then….so. much. mess. The flour everywhere. The pans and bowls piled. The sprinkles. THE SPRINKLES!!! Let’s just say I was a little more Grinch… Continue reading Buried Under a Christmas Star

grief, love in loss, Trauma

A Boy Without His Mother

My husband and I just returned from an unforgettable trip to Ireland in celebration of our 10th wedding anniversary. Trips like this are a memory overload, and soon after leaving the days of touring behind, all the landscapes and castles and fascinating history facts blend together. I'll take time to make memory book on Shutterfly… Continue reading A Boy Without His Mother

grief, Infant loss, love in loss

Guest Blog: Only Two Backpacks

August is one of those months that just won't let go. The anniversary of miscarrying Everett on August 8. Elliot's due date on August 9. Avery's due date on August 21. And then there's back to school. Beautiful, funny, exciting back to school. As a homeschool mom, I try to create rituals that make the… Continue reading Guest Blog: Only Two Backpacks