About a week ago, I encountered a moment of choice. Like all of us, I face choices every day. For instance, do I take the easy route or the hard route? Do the bare minimum, or go the extra mile? Turn and run from pain, or find the courage to embrace it? It… Continue reading The Courage to Cry
Category: love in loss
Why Spring Makes Me Dizzy
I’ve heard grief described as: “being stuck in a moment in time.” I think that’s a somewhat accurate picture, if a bit simplistic. I would add that it's more like your heart is ripped from your chest and scattered over many, many past moments in time, staked there whether you like it or not, and… Continue reading Why Spring Makes Me Dizzy
9 Things the Death of My Child Has Taught Me
My sweet boy’s nine-month birthday is approaching at the end of this month. The ache of wishing he was in my arms just doesn’t wane with time. Time hasn’t given me some grand answer as to “why” this happened. Time doesn’t cause me to accept this reality more readily. Time has not healed this… Continue reading 9 Things the Death of My Child Has Taught Me
Poor in Spirit
A long time ago, a guy who loved Jesus named St. John of the Cross wrote a poem called “The Dark Night of the Soul.” I don’t know much about St. John, and I’m not crazy about the poem, but several months ago, my counselor sent me an email article with this quote: “The… Continue reading Poor in Spirit
The Face of Miscarriage
Dearest Avery Rose, It’s been two years since you went to heaven, my little one. January 19, 2016 changed everything. It was the beginning of a whole world of challenges I just didn’t expect, plan for, or ever want. I’ve missed you! I talk about Elliot a lot these days, because his life and… Continue reading The Face of Miscarriage
The Grief of a Grandpa
I asked my dad if I could share what he wrote recently to Elliot. He graciously said yes, and being that he’ll unlikely ever start a blog of his own (though he could), I am honored to share it with the world. My dad is a guy who thinks deeply and feels deeply. Maybe… Continue reading The Grief of a Grandpa
The Big But
I’ve been staring at this picture a lot recently. It’s one of my favorite pictures of Elliot. But, let’s be honest; they’re ALL my favorite. When pictures of your child are finite, and when there will be no more, they are sacred. Dustin texted me this picture the day after Elliot was born while I… Continue reading The Big But
So This Is Grief
9.3.17 So this is grief. Oh. So THIS is grief: Watching the sky light up with the fire from dozens of hot air balloons. I smile as the giggles of my girls fill my ears. Then my eye catches the sight of the couple next to me swaddling their newborn baby on their picnic blanket.… Continue reading So This Is Grief
Due
August 21, 2016. April 6, 2017. August 9, 2017. Just dates on the calendar to most people. But those dates are so much more to me. They are the due dates of my babies in heaven. For those of you who’ve not experienced pregnancy, this is how the first moments work (more or… Continue reading Due
Elliot’s Birth Story
June 29, 2017 Happy One-Month Birthday, Elliot! I started writing Elliot’s birth story the morning of the day he died. Of course, I had no way of knowing what that day would bring. As far as I knew, it was just going to be another day with my little buddy, one of many.… Continue reading Elliot’s Birth Story
