My sweet boy’s nine-month birthday is approaching at the end of this month. The ache of wishing he was in my arms just doesn’t wane with time. Time hasn’t given me some grand answer as to “why” this happened. Time doesn’t cause me to accept this reality more readily. Time has not healed this… Continue reading 9 Things the Death of My Child Has Taught Me
Category: love in loss
Poor in Spirit
A long time ago, a guy who loved Jesus named St. John of the Cross wrote a poem called “The Dark Night of the Soul.” I don’t know much about St. John, and I’m not crazy about the poem, but several months ago, my counselor sent me an email article with this quote: “The… Continue reading Poor in Spirit
The Face of Miscarriage
Dearest Avery Rose, It’s been two years since you went to heaven, my little one. January 19, 2016 changed everything. It was the beginning of a whole world of challenges I just didn’t expect, plan for, or ever want. I’ve missed you! I talk about Elliot a lot these days, because his life and… Continue reading The Face of Miscarriage
The Grief of a Grandpa
I asked my dad if I could share what he wrote recently to Elliot. He graciously said yes, and being that he’ll unlikely ever start a blog of his own (though he could), I am honored to share it with the world. My dad is a guy who thinks deeply and feels deeply. Maybe… Continue reading The Grief of a Grandpa
The Big But
I’ve been staring at this picture a lot recently. It’s one of my favorite pictures of Elliot. But, let’s be honest; they’re ALL my favorite. When pictures of your child are finite, and when there will be no more, they are sacred. Dustin texted me this picture the day after Elliot was born while I… Continue reading The Big But
So This Is Grief
9.3.17 So this is grief. Oh. So THIS is grief: Watching the sky light up with the fire from dozens of hot air balloons. I smile as the giggles of my girls fill my ears. Then my eye catches the sight of the couple next to me swaddling their newborn baby on their picnic blanket.… Continue reading So This Is Grief
Due
August 21, 2016. April 6, 2017. August 9, 2017. Just dates on the calendar to most people. But those dates are so much more to me. They are the due dates of my babies in heaven. For those of you who’ve not experienced pregnancy, this is how the first moments work (more or… Continue reading Due
Elliot’s Birth Story
June 29, 2017 Happy One-Month Birthday, Elliot! I started writing Elliot’s birth story the morning of the day he died. Of course, I had no way of knowing what that day would bring. As far as I knew, it was just going to be another day with my little buddy, one of many.… Continue reading Elliot’s Birth Story
Remembering Elliot-Words Written By His Parents Read at His Memorial
Remembering Elliot-Dustin Around 2 pm on Monday, May 29th I received a call from my wife and all she said was, "Come now." After a bit of panic I grabbed my bag and went to the hospital. When I arrived I went to the Labor & Delivery side to find out where Heidi… Continue reading Remembering Elliot-Words Written By His Parents Read at His Memorial
Five Days
6/4/17 And I’m home again exactly eight weeks from the day I left to go to the hospital. I thought the day I returned home would be one of relief, joy, and reunion. Instead it is a day of a crushed spirit, mourning, and separation. I thought I would look back on my time in… Continue reading Five Days
