Dear Thirties, As of today, you are a past-tense timeframe. This is my farewell to you, still-young-but-not-too-young decade of life. I think it’s interesting how we boil people down into their decade. A flippant, “He’s in his early twenties,” may explain away juvenile behavior, while an awestruck, “She’s in her nineties,” produces wonder and respect.… Continue reading A Goodbye Letter to my Thirties
Tag: child loss
Of Plans and Pandemics
I sit here admiring the frosted trees, the still beauty whispering something majestic and true. A September snow blew through to hopefully temper wildfires and delight Coloradans with the dramatic weather shift. It’s funny how we live our lives with an awareness that things rarely go as planned, and yet we’re still surprised when an… Continue reading Of Plans and Pandemics
Starlight
On the eve of my 39th birthday a couple nights ago, I stepped out of my patio door to let my dog outside. The sight of Orion hanging in the sky caught my breath. I’m proud to be a very amateur astronomer. A couple names of Orion’s stars, Rigel & Betelgeuse, flashed in the forefront… Continue reading Starlight
Not Yet
My youngest daughter turned five a few months ago. It’s been almost two and a half years since she lost her little brother Elliot, a brother she only saw as my pregnant belly and as a cold, still baby in a casket on the day of his funeral. We’ve talked about heaven a lot since… Continue reading Not Yet
Guest Blog: Only Two Backpacks
August is one of those months that just won't let go. The anniversary of miscarrying Everett on August 8. Elliot's due date on August 9. Avery's due date on August 21. And then there's back to school. Beautiful, funny, exciting back to school. As a homeschool mom, I try to create rituals that make the… Continue reading Guest Blog: Only Two Backpacks
Three Aspects of Infant Loss We Don’t Talk About (But Should)
Here I am again, approaching spring and all its painful triggers. Two years ago I was pregnant with my little Elliot. I was brimming to my eyeballs in hope and relief as I fully believed I was past the worst of my pregnancy and, at 18 weeks, in the “safe zone.” How could I ever… Continue reading Three Aspects of Infant Loss We Don’t Talk About (But Should)
UN-Comfortably Numb
I’m tired. I’m so tired of missing him. I’m tired of time passing and his brief life becoming more of a distant memory. I’m tired of triggers taking me back there when I’m not expecting it. I’m tired of thinking in years...Avery would be two and a half YEARS old. Everett would be almost two… Continue reading UN-Comfortably Numb
One Sacred Night
Written by my mother, Gelene Springston One Sacred Night Reflections by a Grateful Grammy “They’re losing Elliot,” my husband said sadly. Our son, Ryan, had just called with the awful news. Minutes later a call came from a tearful nurse, “Come as quickly as you can!” We were 50 minutes from St. Joseph… Continue reading One Sacred Night
A Mother’s Day Letter to My Sisters In Loss
Dear Sisters In Loss, You, mothers of babies in Heaven, mommies whose babies left too soon due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death, are precious to me. Your children are precious to me. I wish I could have known them all. This Mother’s Day may not be what you hoped for or expected.… Continue reading A Mother’s Day Letter to My Sisters In Loss
A Letter to My Son in Celebration of His Life
This note to Elliot is dedicated in his memory to ALL the babies who closed their eyes on mortality much too soon. I hope we who claim to be “pro-life”, who believe that a new soul is created when new DNA is created, remember and celebrate these short lives in the ways we can. There… Continue reading A Letter to My Son in Celebration of His Life
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