In this series of articles, I've shared how God has shown me that he’s better. It’s become somewhat of a mantra in my life, especially when pain besets my heart or a tragedy or injustice stares me in the face, and I wrestle with the question, How can God possibly be good in this situation?… Continue reading God is Better than You Think, Part Three: A Better Faith
Tag: grief
The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma: Stuck Spot #2-CHURCH!
If you ever have or still do attend a church, why do you do it? Is it a practice that brings you closer to God? A ritual you feel obligated to do based on some understanding of Scripture? A chance to connect with fellow believers and socialize with friends? Now, here’s an even more telling… Continue reading The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma: Stuck Spot #2-CHURCH!
The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma: Introduction
When I released my memoir, Me Among the Stars, the week of Elliot’s birthday this past May, I felt like some part of the grief and trauma journey was completed. The death of my son forever altered me, and I spent the first six years of aftershock recovering from grief, loss, and some post-traumatic stress.… Continue reading The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma: Introduction
The Good “And”
When my son Elliot died, my response was, understandably, railing against the evil of his being taken from me. I couldn’t see any grace in it, and I will still bristle if an off-handed comment, especially from a religious onlooker, tries to bring “good” from the daily aching pain of being separated from my child.… Continue reading The Good “And”
Redeeming Time
In Ephesians 5, Paul exhorts his readers to redeem the time, because the days are evil. Many other translations call it “making the most of every opportunity.” But I like redeeming the time. That phrase from Scripture has always struck me as poetic. Webster defines the word redeem as to free from what distresses or… Continue reading Redeeming Time
My Son Can Hear You
“How old is he?” “Four.” “He’s SO TINY!” My son looks up at me, those big brown eyes questioning. My face grows hot, but I smile and continue checking him in for children’s church. I don’t say anything. She did not mean to offend. I know this. She does not know the conversations and struggles… Continue reading My Son Can Hear You
My Sons
Which part of your child’s face is your favorite to study? You know what I mean. When he’s still (for two seconds), when she’s sleeping, when laughter alights their faces? I love Valerie’s freckles, sprinkled across her nose like stardust. I adore Sylvia’s sweet little cheeks; there’s something of the baby I carried still there.… Continue reading My Sons
Barbies and Football (Where Love Lives)
I see her bright blonde hair and brighter smile as she barrels toward me. “You’re a bad guy and I’m a good guy!” she declares while launching a giant orange bouncy ball at my torso. I flop on the trampoline in a deft maneuver, avoiding her attack. Valerie already landed two hits—one more and I’m… Continue reading Barbies and Football (Where Love Lives)
Love From a Distance
I recently threw a baby shower. A unicorn baby shower. An imaginary unicorn baby shower. The lucky unicorn had quadruplets, wouldn’t you know? Streamers hung from the ceiling of my normally tidy formal living room. Purple balloons rested on every sofa cushion. Homemade signs with sweetly misspelled words adorned my dining room walls. Parenting… Continue reading Love From a Distance
Sentenced to Life
Today is the Spring (or Vernal) Equinox, a day when there is exactly as much light to the day as there is dark. On the Vernal Equinox of 2017, I went in for the 20-week anatomy ultrasound of my growing baby boy, Elliot. We’d endured four months of uncertainty in my awful pregnancy, and finally… Continue reading Sentenced to Life
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