Thank you to those of you who've taken the time to respond to the previous two topics in this series. Your experiences with hearing God's voice and with the church have beautifully illustrated for me the uniqueness of each individual's journey with God. Your insights also show how universal many aspects of faith can be.… Continue reading The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma: Stuck Spot #3-Sharing the Gospel
Category: Infant loss
The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma: Stuck Spot#1-Hearing God’s Voice
In my previous post, an introduction to this series, The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma, I invited readers to share their own experiences of loss and trauma to their faith and/or relationship with God. I deeply appreciate the courage of fellow travelers who reached out to me in response to my previous blog article. I’d… Continue reading The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma: Stuck Spot#1-Hearing God’s Voice
The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma: Introduction
When I released my memoir, Me Among the Stars, the week of Elliot’s birthday this past May, I felt like some part of the grief and trauma journey was completed. The death of my son forever altered me, and I spent the first six years of aftershock recovering from grief, loss, and some post-traumatic stress.… Continue reading The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma: Introduction
The Good “And”
When my son Elliot died, my response was, understandably, railing against the evil of his being taken from me. I couldn’t see any grace in it, and I will still bristle if an off-handed comment, especially from a religious onlooker, tries to bring “good” from the daily aching pain of being separated from my child.… Continue reading The Good “And”
My Son Can Hear You
“How old is he?” “Four.” “He’s SO TINY!” My son looks up at me, those big brown eyes questioning. My face grows hot, but I smile and continue checking him in for children’s church. I don’t say anything. She did not mean to offend. I know this. She does not know the conversations and struggles… Continue reading My Son Can Hear You
My Sons
Which part of your child’s face is your favorite to study? You know what I mean. When he’s still (for two seconds), when she’s sleeping, when laughter alights their faces? I love Valerie’s freckles, sprinkled across her nose like stardust. I adore Sylvia’s sweet little cheeks; there’s something of the baby I carried still there.… Continue reading My Sons
Love From a Distance
I recently threw a baby shower. A unicorn baby shower. An imaginary unicorn baby shower. The lucky unicorn had quadruplets, wouldn’t you know? Streamers hung from the ceiling of my normally tidy formal living room. Purple balloons rested on every sofa cushion. Homemade signs with sweetly misspelled words adorned my dining room walls. Parenting… Continue reading Love From a Distance
Sentenced to Life
Today is the Spring (or Vernal) Equinox, a day when there is exactly as much light to the day as there is dark. On the Vernal Equinox of 2017, I went in for the 20-week anatomy ultrasound of my growing baby boy, Elliot. We’d endured four months of uncertainty in my awful pregnancy, and finally… Continue reading Sentenced to Life
The Womb of the World
Last night we had the pleasure of hosting our small group from church. One of my friends in the group is pregnant with her second sweet baby, and someone asked her how far along she is. “30 weeks,” she replied. My mind began reeling a bit. 30 weeks. I delivered Elliot when I was… Continue reading The Womb of the World
Buried Under a Christmas Star
My girls and I spent several hours this weekend working on Christmas cookies to give to our new cul-de-sac neighbors. I confess it was fun the first hour or two; and then….so. much. mess. The flour everywhere. The pans and bowls piled. The sprinkles. THE SPRINKLES!!! Let’s just say I was a little more Grinch… Continue reading Buried Under a Christmas Star
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