faith, grief, healing, love in loss, Uncategorized

God is Better Than You Think, Part Two: A Better Throne

Not having lived in any sort of actual monarchy, the thought of being subject to the reign of a king is unfamiliar to me, and I think most of us alive at this time. As I mentioned in Part One: A Better Parent, however I perceive God now, he continually shows me with each new… Continue reading God is Better Than You Think, Part Two: A Better Throne

faith, grief, healing, love in loss, Trauma, Uncategorized

The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma: Introduction

When I released my memoir, Me Among the Stars, the week of Elliot’s birthday this past May, I felt like some part of the grief and trauma journey was completed. The death of my son forever altered me, and I spent the first six years of aftershock recovering from grief, loss, and some post-traumatic stress.… Continue reading The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma: Introduction

adoption, faith, grief, healing, Infant loss, love in loss, Trauma, Uncategorized

The Good “And”

When my son Elliot died, my response was, understandably, railing against the evil of his being taken from me. I couldn’t see any grace in it, and I will still bristle if an off-handed comment, especially from a religious onlooker, tries to bring “good” from the daily aching pain of being separated from my child.… Continue reading The Good “And”

faith, grief, healing, love in loss, Uncategorized

Redeeming Time

In Ephesians 5, Paul exhorts his readers to redeem the time, because the days are evil. Many other translations call it “making the most of every opportunity.” But I like redeeming the time. That phrase from Scripture has always struck me as poetic. Webster defines the word redeem as to free from what distresses or… Continue reading Redeeming Time

adoption, foster care, grief, Infant loss, love in loss

Love From a Distance

I recently threw a baby shower. A unicorn baby shower. An imaginary unicorn baby shower. The lucky unicorn had quadruplets, wouldn’t you know? Streamers hung from the ceiling of my normally tidy formal living room. Purple balloons rested on every sofa cushion. Homemade signs with sweetly misspelled words adorned my dining room walls.   Parenting… Continue reading Love From a Distance

faith, grief, Infant loss, love in loss

Sentenced to Life

Today is the Spring (or Vernal) Equinox, a day when there is exactly as much light to the day as there is dark. On the Vernal Equinox of 2017, I went in for the 20-week anatomy ultrasound of my growing baby boy, Elliot. We’d endured four months of uncertainty in my awful pregnancy, and finally… Continue reading Sentenced to Life

faith, grief, Juarez, love in loss

The Way Things Grow

We just returned from a brief trip to Juárez, México to visit our dear friends, Maria and Gilbert, who run an elementary school and junior high school. Besides just caring about seeing our friends, Dustin and I also wanted to visit since we are on the school board and are deeply invested in what happens… Continue reading The Way Things Grow

faith, grief, Infant loss, love in loss, Uncategorized

Buried Under a Christmas Star

My girls and I spent several hours this weekend working on Christmas cookies to give to our new cul-de-sac neighbors. I confess it was fun the first hour or two; and then….so. much. mess. The flour everywhere. The pans and bowls piled. The sprinkles. THE SPRINKLES!!! Let’s just say I was a little more Grinch… Continue reading Buried Under a Christmas Star