365 days have passed. One mighty revolution around the sun. And here I am, the same day, one year later. People might think June 3, 2017 Was the worst day of my life. Never. I spent too much time with you, Too many memories, For this day to be shrouded in gray.… Continue reading 365
Category: grief
A Mother’s Day Letter to My Sisters In Loss
Dear Sisters In Loss, You, mothers of babies in Heaven, mommies whose babies left too soon due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death, are precious to me. Your children are precious to me. I wish I could have known them all. This Mother’s Day may not be what you hoped for or expected.… Continue reading A Mother’s Day Letter to My Sisters In Loss
The Courage to Cry
About a week ago, I encountered a moment of choice. Like all of us, I face choices every day. For instance, do I take the easy route or the hard route? Do the bare minimum, or go the extra mile? Turn and run from pain, or find the courage to embrace it? It… Continue reading The Courage to Cry
Don’t Let My Smile Fool You
Don't let my smile fool you; You might think that I'm just fine. But sorrow, love, and longing Walk a narrow, blurry line. The thing you might not notice Behind eyes you think are bright Is they're gazing at his absence, At dark where once was light. You may feel good… Continue reading Don’t Let My Smile Fool You
Why Spring Makes Me Dizzy
I’ve heard grief described as: “being stuck in a moment in time.” I think that’s a somewhat accurate picture, if a bit simplistic. I would add that it's more like your heart is ripped from your chest and scattered over many, many past moments in time, staked there whether you like it or not, and… Continue reading Why Spring Makes Me Dizzy
The Face of Miscarriage
Dearest Avery Rose, It’s been two years since you went to heaven, my little one. January 19, 2016 changed everything. It was the beginning of a whole world of challenges I just didn’t expect, plan for, or ever want. I’ve missed you! I talk about Elliot a lot these days, because his life and… Continue reading The Face of Miscarriage
The Grief of a Grandpa
I asked my dad if I could share what he wrote recently to Elliot. He graciously said yes, and being that he’ll unlikely ever start a blog of his own (though he could), I am honored to share it with the world. My dad is a guy who thinks deeply and feels deeply. Maybe… Continue reading The Grief of a Grandpa
The Big But
I’ve been staring at this picture a lot recently. It’s one of my favorite pictures of Elliot. But, let’s be honest; they’re ALL my favorite. When pictures of your child are finite, and when there will be no more, they are sacred. Dustin texted me this picture the day after Elliot was born while I… Continue reading The Big But
Scars of Love
Sylvia crying is a big trigger for me. On the day we told Sylvia and Valerie that their baby brother Elliot had died, precious Sylvia’s tears absolutely broke my heart. What we wouldn’t do to spare our kids that kind of pain, right, moms? My precious girls had been anticipating and looking forward to their… Continue reading Scars of Love
Sharing Stories, Sharing Burdens
Recently I spent the day among a group of people I hadn’t seen since I was pregnant with Elliot. They are acquaintances, not close friends, but kind and friendly people who are aware of my hospitalization, and Elliot’s birth and death. I mustered the courage to spend the day among them, and knew I would… Continue reading Sharing Stories, Sharing Burdens
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