I sit here admiring the frosted trees, the still beauty whispering something majestic and true. A September snow blew through to hopefully temper wildfires and delight Coloradans with the dramatic weather shift. It’s funny how we live our lives with an awareness that things rarely go as planned, and yet we’re still surprised when an… Continue reading Of Plans and Pandemics
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Buried Under a Christmas Star
My girls and I spent several hours this weekend working on Christmas cookies to give to our new cul-de-sac neighbors. I confess it was fun the first hour or two; and then….so. much. mess. The flour everywhere. The pans and bowls piled. The sprinkles. THE SPRINKLES!!! Let’s just say I was a little more Grinch… Continue reading Buried Under a Christmas Star
Why Adoption? Why Colombia?
When I tell people our family is the process of adopting from Colombia, the questions I most often receive are: “Why adoption?” and “Why from Colombia?” So for any interested parties whose minds may be burning with those same inquiries, here goes. Adoption. Well, I have always been deeply troubled by the thought of… Continue reading Why Adoption? Why Colombia?
My Glass Heart
I took this picture 26 months ago yesterday as my precious son held on to my finger. 26 months ago today, this perfect little love died in my arms. The first year after Elliot died was a blur of days spent weeping, mourning, remembering, memorializing. The second year was an abrupt desperation to DO something.… Continue reading My Glass Heart
The “God Is Good” Dilemma
God is good. Chris Tomlin says it: “You’re a good, good father...:” My childhood church camp said it: “God is soooo good, God is soooo good, God is soooo good, he’s so gooood….toooo….me….” (four-part harmony) The Bible says it: “For the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and… Continue reading The “God Is Good” Dilemma
Two Versions of Me
One of my favorite features of Denver International Airport is the long, long moving walkway. I like how it helps travelers traverse the great distance across terminals at exponential speed. It’s gratifying to step on an already-moving conveyor belt, and become strangely quick with minimal effort. Passing by all the regular pedestrians on the stationary… Continue reading Two Versions of Me
Spiritual Attachment Trauma
Recently in one of our foster care training classes, the topic of the evening was “Trauma and Attachment.” We learned vital information about what happens in the mind and heart of a little one who is traumatized. Trauma can occur in many ways: physical, emotional, psychological. The traumatic event can be one-time or, more likely,… Continue reading Spiritual Attachment Trauma
Elliot’s Birthday Gift
My precious Elliot, I can not believe that a year has passed since May 29, 2017. What a crazy day that was, little one! I’d been on hospital bed rest for 50 days, and was gearing up for just another of those days. Though I’d had some increased bleeding and contractions over the previous couple… Continue reading Elliot’s Birthday Gift
The Courage to Cry
About a week ago, I encountered a moment of choice. Like all of us, I face choices every day. For instance, do I take the easy route or the hard route? Do the bare minimum, or go the extra mile? Turn and run from pain, or find the courage to embrace it? It… Continue reading The Courage to Cry
Don’t Let My Smile Fool You
Don't let my smile fool you; You might think that I'm just fine. But sorrow, love, and longing Walk a narrow, blurry line. The thing you might not notice Behind eyes you think are bright Is they're gazing at his absence, At dark where once was light. You may feel good… Continue reading Don’t Let My Smile Fool You
Raw and Filtered 