Don't let my smile fool you; You might think that I'm just fine. But sorrow, love, and longing Walk a narrow, blurry line. The thing you might not notice Behind eyes you think are bright Is they're gazing at his absence, At dark where once was light. You may feel good… Continue reading Don’t Let My Smile Fool You
Tag: grief
9 Things the Death of My Child Has Taught Me
My sweet boy’s nine-month birthday is approaching at the end of this month. The ache of wishing he was in my arms just doesn’t wane with time. Time hasn’t given me some grand answer as to “why” this happened. Time doesn’t cause me to accept this reality more readily. Time has not healed this… Continue reading 9 Things the Death of My Child Has Taught Me
Poor in Spirit
A long time ago, a guy who loved Jesus named St. John of the Cross wrote a poem called “The Dark Night of the Soul.” I don’t know much about St. John, and I’m not crazy about the poem, but several months ago, my counselor sent me an email article with this quote: “The… Continue reading Poor in Spirit
The Face of Miscarriage
Dearest Avery Rose, It’s been two years since you went to heaven, my little one. January 19, 2016 changed everything. It was the beginning of a whole world of challenges I just didn’t expect, plan for, or ever want. I’ve missed you! I talk about Elliot a lot these days, because his life and… Continue reading The Face of Miscarriage
The Grief of a Grandpa
I asked my dad if I could share what he wrote recently to Elliot. He graciously said yes, and being that he’ll unlikely ever start a blog of his own (though he could), I am honored to share it with the world. My dad is a guy who thinks deeply and feels deeply. Maybe… Continue reading The Grief of a Grandpa
The Big But
I’ve been staring at this picture a lot recently. It’s one of my favorite pictures of Elliot. But, let’s be honest; they’re ALL my favorite. When pictures of your child are finite, and when there will be no more, they are sacred. Dustin texted me this picture the day after Elliot was born while I… Continue reading The Big But
Scars of Love
Sylvia crying is a big trigger for me. On the day we told Sylvia and Valerie that their baby brother Elliot had died, precious Sylvia’s tears absolutely broke my heart. What we wouldn’t do to spare our kids that kind of pain, right, moms? My precious girls had been anticipating and looking forward to their… Continue reading Scars of Love
Sharing Stories, Sharing Burdens
Recently I spent the day among a group of people I hadn’t seen since I was pregnant with Elliot. They are acquaintances, not close friends, but kind and friendly people who are aware of my hospitalization, and Elliot’s birth and death. I mustered the courage to spend the day among them, and knew I would… Continue reading Sharing Stories, Sharing Burdens
A Letter to My Son in Celebration of His Life
This note to Elliot is dedicated in his memory to ALL the babies who closed their eyes on mortality much too soon. I hope we who claim to be “pro-life”, who believe that a new soul is created when new DNA is created, remember and celebrate these short lives in the ways we can. There… Continue reading A Letter to My Son in Celebration of His Life
Better
“So, are you doing better?” “I hope things will continue to get better for you.” “How is your family? Are the days getting any better?” Better. It’s a word people use to kindly inquire or gauge the progress of healing from grief. But now that I’m in this odd land, “better” just doesn’t seem to… Continue reading Better
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