I’m tired. I’m so tired of missing him. I’m tired of time passing and his brief life becoming more of a distant memory. I’m tired of triggers taking me back there when I’m not expecting it. I’m tired of thinking in years...Avery would be two and a half YEARS old. Everett would be almost two… Continue reading UN-Comfortably Numb
Tag: grief
The “God Is Good” Dilemma
God is good. Chris Tomlin says it: “You’re a good, good father...:” My childhood church camp said it: “God is soooo good, God is soooo good, God is soooo good, he’s so gooood….toooo….me….” (four-part harmony) The Bible says it: “For the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and… Continue reading The “God Is Good” Dilemma
One Sacred Night
Written by my mother, Gelene Springston One Sacred Night Reflections by a Grateful Grammy “They’re losing Elliot,” my husband said sadly. Our son, Ryan, had just called with the awful news. Minutes later a call came from a tearful nurse, “Come as quickly as you can!” We were 50 minutes from St. Joseph… Continue reading One Sacred Night
Two Versions of Me
One of my favorite features of Denver International Airport is the long, long moving walkway. I like how it helps travelers traverse the great distance across terminals at exponential speed. It’s gratifying to step on an already-moving conveyor belt, and become strangely quick with minimal effort. Passing by all the regular pedestrians on the stationary… Continue reading Two Versions of Me
Faith Without Faith
It’s been nearly fifteen months since my little boy died. It’s surreal to me how present-tense Elliot is in my life, when it feels like, for the world around me, his life is a past-tense event. For me, he’s just as real and present in my life as my other children. God continues to use… Continue reading Faith Without Faith
Heaven’s Middle Child
My littlest baby, My Everett. I marvel at your name and the conviction I have that you are a boy. I know some mommies of miscarried babies don’t name their little ones because of the uncertainty of the gender. That’s okay. You all have names and identities that one day we’ll know… Continue reading Heaven’s Middle Child
10 Things Bereaved Mothers Fear You’ll Think
Bereaved Mothers feel a lot of emotions. No two moms of children in heaven feel all the same things, in the same order, or to the same extent. Fear is an emotion that can wreak havoc on our already fragile hearts. In this precious community I’m a part of, bereaved mothers who've lost babies, mommies… Continue reading 10 Things Bereaved Mothers Fear You’ll Think
365
365 days have passed. One mighty revolution around the sun. And here I am, the same day, one year later. People might think June 3, 2017 Was the worst day of my life. Never. I spent too much time with you, Too many memories, For this day to be shrouded in gray.… Continue reading 365
A Mother’s Day Letter to My Sisters In Loss
Dear Sisters In Loss, You, mothers of babies in Heaven, mommies whose babies left too soon due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death, are precious to me. Your children are precious to me. I wish I could have known them all. This Mother’s Day may not be what you hoped for or expected.… Continue reading A Mother’s Day Letter to My Sisters In Loss
The Courage to Cry
About a week ago, I encountered a moment of choice. Like all of us, I face choices every day. For instance, do I take the easy route or the hard route? Do the bare minimum, or go the extra mile? Turn and run from pain, or find the courage to embrace it? It… Continue reading The Courage to Cry
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