Here I am again, approaching spring and all its painful triggers. Two years ago I was pregnant with my little Elliot. I was brimming to my eyeballs in hope and relief as I fully believed I was past the worst of my pregnancy and, at 18 weeks, in the “safe zone.” How could I ever… Continue reading Three Aspects of Infant Loss We Don’t Talk About (But Should)
Tag: Jesus
Foster Care: What It Is and What It Is Not
I’m a foster mom. Weird. I seriously had two kinds of images pop into my mind when I used to think of foster parents: One: really saintly people who sew their own dresses and never lose their temper and have limitless amounts of energy to give to hurting children. -or- Two: the kind of people… Continue reading Foster Care: What It Is and What It Is Not
UN-Comfortably Numb
I’m tired. I’m so tired of missing him. I’m tired of time passing and his brief life becoming more of a distant memory. I’m tired of triggers taking me back there when I’m not expecting it. I’m tired of thinking in years...Avery would be two and a half YEARS old. Everett would be almost two… Continue reading UN-Comfortably Numb
The “God Is Good” Dilemma
God is good. Chris Tomlin says it: “You’re a good, good father...:” My childhood church camp said it: “God is soooo good, God is soooo good, God is soooo good, he’s so gooood….toooo….me….” (four-part harmony) The Bible says it: “For the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and… Continue reading The “God Is Good” Dilemma
Faith Without Faith
It’s been nearly fifteen months since my little boy died. It’s surreal to me how present-tense Elliot is in my life, when it feels like, for the world around me, his life is a past-tense event. For me, he’s just as real and present in my life as my other children. God continues to use… Continue reading Faith Without Faith
He Never Said a Word
He never said a word, yet his voice rings loud and clear. He’d like to tell you something, if you would like to hear. There’s a miracle just waiting inside a life that’s newly made, A glimpse of Eden’s innocence, of beauty’s every shade. Elliot’s brightness lingers, though his earthly life is done.… Continue reading He Never Said a Word
Poor in Spirit
A long time ago, a guy who loved Jesus named St. John of the Cross wrote a poem called “The Dark Night of the Soul.” I don’t know much about St. John, and I’m not crazy about the poem, but several months ago, my counselor sent me an email article with this quote: “The… Continue reading Poor in Spirit
Avery’s Birth Story
One of the challenges I faced after losing a baby to miscarriage was the disappointment of not being able to write her a birth story. I'd written one for each of my two other babies, but for months I ached with the knowledge that Avery wasn't "born." However, God gave me insight into a beautiful… Continue reading Avery’s Birth Story
