If you ever have or still do attend a church, why do you do it? Is it a practice that brings you closer to God? A ritual you feel obligated to do based on some understanding of Scripture? A chance to connect with fellow believers and socialize with friends? Now, here’s an even more telling… Continue reading The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma: Stuck Spot #2-CHURCH!
Tag: mourning
The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma: Introduction
When I released my memoir, Me Among the Stars, the week of Elliot’s birthday this past May, I felt like some part of the grief and trauma journey was completed. The death of my son forever altered me, and I spent the first six years of aftershock recovering from grief, loss, and some post-traumatic stress.… Continue reading The Stuck Spots of Spiritual Trauma: Introduction
Redeeming Time
In Ephesians 5, Paul exhorts his readers to redeem the time, because the days are evil. Many other translations call it “making the most of every opportunity.” But I like redeeming the time. That phrase from Scripture has always struck me as poetic. Webster defines the word redeem as to free from what distresses or… Continue reading Redeeming Time
The Womb of the World
Last night we had the pleasure of hosting our small group from church. One of my friends in the group is pregnant with her second sweet baby, and someone asked her how far along she is. “30 weeks,” she replied. My mind began reeling a bit. 30 weeks. I delivered Elliot when I was… Continue reading The Womb of the World
Buried Under a Christmas Star
My girls and I spent several hours this weekend working on Christmas cookies to give to our new cul-de-sac neighbors. I confess it was fun the first hour or two; and then….so. much. mess. The flour everywhere. The pans and bowls piled. The sprinkles. THE SPRINKLES!!! Let’s just say I was a little more Grinch… Continue reading Buried Under a Christmas Star
Not Yet
My youngest daughter turned five a few months ago. It’s been almost two and a half years since she lost her little brother Elliot, a brother she only saw as my pregnant belly and as a cold, still baby in a casket on the day of his funeral. We’ve talked about heaven a lot since… Continue reading Not Yet
A Boy Without His Mother
My husband and I just returned from an unforgettable trip to Ireland in celebration of our 10th wedding anniversary. Trips like this are a memory overload, and soon after leaving the days of touring behind, all the landscapes and castles and fascinating history facts blend together. I'll take time to make memory book on Shutterfly… Continue reading A Boy Without His Mother
Guest Blog: Only Two Backpacks
August is one of those months that just won't let go. The anniversary of miscarrying Everett on August 8. Elliot's due date on August 9. Avery's due date on August 21. And then there's back to school. Beautiful, funny, exciting back to school. As a homeschool mom, I try to create rituals that make the… Continue reading Guest Blog: Only Two Backpacks
My Glass Heart
I took this picture 26 months ago yesterday as my precious son held on to my finger. 26 months ago today, this perfect little love died in my arms. The first year after Elliot died was a blur of days spent weeping, mourning, remembering, memorializing. The second year was an abrupt desperation to DO something.… Continue reading My Glass Heart
The Upside-Down Anchor
It doesn’t get easier to live without him; His absence is felt so strongly. Without my child who should be here, Reality is shaded so wrongly. Life feels backwards, skewed, and sideways, When I think of the children I buried. I felt them, saw them, held them, kissed them-- Every day of their existence I… Continue reading The Upside-Down Anchor
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